8 Ways to Use ‘Playfulness’ to Strengthen Love, According to a Psychologist

8 Ways to Use ‘Playfulness’ to Strengthen Love, According to a Psychologist.

Playfulness is often overlooked in relationships, yet psychologists consistently emphasize its importance in deepening emotional bonds and reigniting intimacy. Research published in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships shows that couples who engage in playful activities experience higher levels of satisfaction and connection.

1. Share Inside Jokes

Creating and sharing inside jokes fosters a sense of exclusivity in your relationship. Dr. Jeffrey Hall, a communications professor, found that couples who share humor are more likely to report higher relationship satisfaction. Jokes, nicknames, or silly phrases only you and your partner understand strengthen your emotional connection. This shared humor acts as a “shortcut” to intimacy and reminds you of positive shared experiences. Even small moments of laughter can diffuse tension during conflicts.

2. Plan Surprise Adventures

Unexpected activities or outings introduce novelty, which reignites passion in long-term relationships. Dr. Arthur Aron’s studies on novelty in couples reveal that shared experiences boost dopamine levels, mimicking the early stages of romance. It could be as simple as a spontaneous road trip, trying a new restaurant, or setting up a surprise scavenger hunt at home. The key is to make it lighthearted and fun, not overly planned or stressful.

3. Engage in Playful Teasing

Gentle teasing can create a sense of fun and flirtation, but it must always be kind and respectful. Psychologist Dr. Karen Young explains that playful teasing helps couples communicate affection without direct vulnerability. For example, exaggerating a minor quirk in a loving way can make your partner feel seen and cherished. The golden rule is to ensure that the teasing feels lighthearted and never crosses into criticism or mockery.

4. Play Games Together

Whether it’s board games, video games, or casual sports, playing games together fosters teamwork and shared joy. A study by Baylor University found that couples who engage in cooperative play experience improved communication and connection. Games create opportunities for laughter, problem-solving, and even a bit of healthy competition. Look for games you both enjoy, and don’t take winning or losing too seriously.

5. Use Physical Playfulness

Physical play like tickling, play wrestling, or dancing around the house can create an instant sense of intimacy. According to Dr. Katherine Black, physical touch during playful interactions releases oxytocin, the “bonding hormone,” strengthening emotional closeness. Even silly moments like pillow fights or chasing each other around the house can rekindle feelings of warmth and love.

6. Try Role Reversals or Playful Fantasies

Engage in harmless role reversals or playful “what-if” scenarios to spark creativity in your interactions. This could involve pretending to be each other for a day, reenacting a funny scene from a movie, or trying lighthearted role-play. Psychologists note that this form of playfulness allows couples to step outside routine roles and view each other in a new, exciting light.

7. Be Spontaneous

Spontaneity disrupts routines, injecting energy and fun into your relationship. Dr. Robert Epstein, a psychology researcher, argues that unpredictability strengthens emotional bonds by keeping the brain alert and interested. Surprise your partner with breakfast in bed, a spontaneous dance session, or an unplanned evening walk. These small moments of unpredictability remind your partner they’re loved in exciting and unexpected ways.

8. Revisit Childhood Playfulness

Rediscovering activities from your childhood can create a sense of nostalgia and shared joy. Flying kites, building forts, or drawing with sidewalk chalk are simple ways to embrace a carefree attitude. Psychologists note that engaging in childlike play together creates a nonjudgmental space to bond. These moments help you see each other’s playful, uninhibited sides, strengthening your emotional connection.